the extraction date. my period came just fine. it was healthy and average. not like the scanty spotty nonsense i had the past several months. it actually felt pretty good to have a normal cycle. my husband and I attempted sex, and at first it felt good, but then after a little bit, it felt a little tender and crampy, and we stopped. and then i felt a little emotional and depressed for a couple days.
after my cycle was completely over, like a half a week later, we tried again (gently) and it felt okay. and then we tried a third time a few days later and it felt good. so i feel better about myself now that my vagina works again. the tenderness has all gone away. no more nipple or breast tenderness. i can work out and get all sweaty without discomfort.
abstinence is really hard on a marriage.
i almost didn't donate a second time because of the affect the 1st donation had on my marriage. but then they called and told me a single gay man wanted a baby, and i support the gay community whole heartedly. i really really wanted to donate to a gay man. so i chose to donate the 2nd time. it feels really good to give like that.
So a week ago, the agency called me asking if i wanted to donate again, or how much time I wanted off. at first i told them 6 months to think about it. and then i decided, maybe only if another gay person wants a baby - i'll only donate to gay people.
and then i was contemplating the entire process, and its really not so bad. the hardest part is the abstinence. and the emotional disconnect that happens to a marriage when you take away healthy intimacy.
I did some research into the health effects on a donor. some studies have shown that long term repeat egg donors can go through menopause earlier, contract ovarian cancer, have fertility issues. Those are the most predominant risks. I'm not worried about those things as much. I welcome an early menopause. My diet is predominantly alkaline, and wont likely grow cancer. and worst case scenario, i adopt instead of conceiving my own baby. That wouldn't bum me out so much. the tiny bruises on my belly and thigh have long since healed. the one injection in the upper thigh was a blood vessel. or so says a friend who used to be a junky. she told me i probably tried to inject the medication in a blood vessel or capillary or whatever, and it burst it open and i had a little blood pocket bruise thing that took forever to go away. I need to remember to put pressure on the plunger and pull back a tiny bit, so see if theres blood in there. they told me to do that, but i didn't always do that.
i found a good website http://www.asrm.org/ its the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. they set guidelines for egg donors as far as how often they donate, and the IVF fertility hormones they can use and stuff. they have a list of egg donor agencies that abide by these guidelines. my agency is on the list: http://www.asrm.org/Patients/eggdonor_agencies.pdf
But the biggest news: I got a call today, from the agency. The intended parents from the first donation want a sibling. they asked if i was willing to donate again to give them a sibling. they want it from the same genetic mother. And i know I was thinking about only donating to gay intended parents, but I think this is the one exception i didn't think about.
they told me in the beginning that some infertile couples get donations, have the children and then want donations again from the same donor for siblings. So this isn't a huge surprise for me. The baby has been born, and they're all high on the new parent happy cloud. I kind of share their glee. I want to give them a sibling. I told them yes.
So i'm donating again. the donation wouldn't be happening until the holidays. they give at least 6 months in between. it takes time to find a surrogate, and arrange all the paperwork and screenings and stuff. That will give me plenty of time to drink alcohol and enjoy my intimacy.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
last progesterone lozenge
i know i was really complaining about the flavor of these earlier, but i swear i was almost craving one of these lozenges after i got off work. and now as i'm sucking on the last bitter yellow square of progesterone goodness, i'm a little bummed this will be my last.
so i still feel a little bloated. but it feels more pms bloaty.
i learned a couple things the past few days healing.
after egg donor extraction:
1. dont attempt pilates
2. dont attempt clitoral orgasms
i'm not sure how long i should wait for these things, probably the 2 weeks they estimate for intercourse.
the past couple days there was still some tenderness going on deep inside.
my breasts feel bigger and are still sensitive (especially nipples). not in a good way either. its not as bad as when i first injected the HCG. its going away.
the past few days, i wasn't as excited about making myself food as usual. my stomach would growl and grumble loudly, but i was too lazy to do anything about it so i'd eat out more than normal. now i haven't heard my stomach growl for a while, and i was excited about making myself food today. so thats good i guess.
I mailed in my reimbursements form for all the things i put on my credit card (amtrak tickets, meals, gas, bus fare, birth control pills, rent-a-car, etc) they added up to about 400 bucks. so i should be getting a check for those within the week.
i also received the rest of my payment in the form of a final check today $9250.00 i'm not touching any of it this time.
so i still feel a little bloated. but it feels more pms bloaty.
i learned a couple things the past few days healing.
after egg donor extraction:
1. dont attempt pilates
2. dont attempt clitoral orgasms
i'm not sure how long i should wait for these things, probably the 2 weeks they estimate for intercourse.
the past couple days there was still some tenderness going on deep inside.
my breasts feel bigger and are still sensitive (especially nipples). not in a good way either. its not as bad as when i first injected the HCG. its going away.
the past few days, i wasn't as excited about making myself food as usual. my stomach would growl and grumble loudly, but i was too lazy to do anything about it so i'd eat out more than normal. now i haven't heard my stomach growl for a while, and i was excited about making myself food today. so thats good i guess.
I mailed in my reimbursements form for all the things i put on my credit card (amtrak tickets, meals, gas, bus fare, birth control pills, rent-a-car, etc) they added up to about 400 bucks. so i should be getting a check for those within the week.
i also received the rest of my payment in the form of a final check today $9250.00 i'm not touching any of it this time.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
extraction
i drove to los angeles at night to avoid traffic. got to the beverly hilton. checked in. the room was huge! there was a flat screen television and the entire wall of one side of the room was a window with huge curtains. there was a sofa and a couple tables and stuff. nice room. $200 a night. the lobby itself was really fancy pants. the entire place just screamed "we have too much money"
i wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight, so i rushed to order food. got a couple of salads. cost $40. for 2 salads. it came with bread and butter on a table with a vase and orchid. the salad kinda sucked. total rip off. for $20 each.
then we tried to check our email, and internet wasn't free. it cost $50 for 24 hours of internet... there is free internet pretty much everywhere else in the world expect for this stupid hotel. that was kinda shocking. and then i took a bath, and the soap smelled like a solid bar of cologne. it was sooooo gross. i'd feel a little more comfortable in a motel 6. with free internet mild soaps and cheap food. lesson learned.
got up super early to drive down the street to the appointment. when i got there they put me in the patient waiting room. gave me a bag labeled "patient belongings" told me to change into the open in the back gown, putting all my stuff in the sealable bag. they gave me socks to wear. socks with traction. i love those socks. so i changed and then sat on the hospital bed thing in my gown tied closed in the back. the nurse told me to get comfortable. and she turned on the flat screen television hanging from the wall. news about michael jackson's family and the funeral procession.
the nurse gave me a sturdy denim blanket and kinda tucked me in, took my blood pressure and heart rate with that machine they clip on a finger that somehow knows your blood's oxygen level too. asked me when i ate last and when i gave myself the trigger shot. then left me alone with the michael jackson news.
a couple doctors began arriving for work and passed me walking through to the IVF lab. smiled and said hello with their coffee in hand. then the anesthesiologist arrived. greeted me and looked at my paperwork and set up a saline solution IV drip thing, putting a flexible needle in my vein on my left hand. taped it really really well onto my hand.
i never feel at ease until they tape it securely like that. but he did a very good job. it felt cold when he finally got it going. he didn't put anything in the IV yet. just set it up. then i waited there for a while. maybe 5 minutes. he came back and messed with the IV thing. maybe put something in there? i remember last donation, they put a drug in the IV before walking me to the operation room. maybe he did that. i didn't see him though. i was too busy with the michael jackson memorial news on the television. i loved michael jackson growing up. he was my david bowie.
a couple more people arrived and began arranging things in the operation room. the surgery was supposed to begin at 7:30 on the dot. i noticed a clock in the room said about 7: 25.
then a nurse helped walk with me into the operation room. she wheeled the IV behind me as i walked. there was a bed next to the ultrasound machine. instead of stirrups, there were knee rests. she helped me onto the bed and undid my ties to my gown so i could lie down on the bed without lying on knots. i was completely careless. not at all embarrassed about my nakedness under the gown. she pulled the gown out of the way, so it was more like a blanket with armholes than a gown.
i scooted down as to her directions, until i was in the right spot. and she put my knees in the stirrups. and strapped them there with a velcro tie thing. as she was doing that the anesthesiologist asked me how much i weighed, i responded, to which he began pushing an entire syringe full of some drug into my IV. i started to feel a little disoriented, so i lay back down and the anesthesiologist put an oxygen mask over my nose and put 3 sticky things on my chest to read my EKG i guess. then the pulse rate monitor and blood oxygen level monitor went on my finger and began beeping with me.
the fertility doctor arrived and put on the gloves and started up the ultrasound machine, there was my ultrasound guided needle that would suck the eggs out with the juice in the follicles, it was already out of the autoclaved bag and attached to the ultrasound wand. the bag wrapper had my name on it on a tray of gloves and tools next to the doctor's stool between my legs.
The doctor turned on the light and directed it towards my crotch, ready to begin the procedure, there was a point where i feared the anesthesiologist wasn't doing a good enough job, because i think last time i had passed out by now. So i thought about saying something to let them know i was still conscious, but i decided that would sound alarmist and stupid. so i began actively, but casually, looking around the room. i decided that would make it obvious that i was alert in case they thought otherwise.
i became aware of a conversation going on across the room between the nurses and the doctor, they were looking at a chart on the wall and discussing whether it was 15 or 16 follicles, and the doctor was asking them 16? and i raised my head and asked,
"is that how many follicles i have ready?" and he looked at me and asked,
"how many follicles did they say you had?" and i thought about the 2nd ultrasound and responded,
"i think she said 8 on one side and 6 or 7 on the other??" and he said,
"hmmm. i thought you had more that that."
I found that conversation strange. and comical. i mean, i was talking to this doctor between my legs and the doctor has the mask on and a light on my vaj. it was almost a monty python scene. or maybe it wasn't that weird, maybe i was just feeling high.
so i made a face that said, 'we will find out i guess' as i put my head back down i really started to feel drugged and weird. out of the corner of my eye i noticed the anesthesiologist put another bit of something in the IV. i decided to relax and let things happen, in a sense, thats when i surrendered any attempts to stay alert. i lay back and lazily stared at the hot air balloon mobile they had hanging from the ceiling. i just enjoyed the sensations i was feeling from the drugs. i remember thinking how appropriate that mobile was. light. airy. looks like how anesthesia feels. flying. floating to some distant land while some fertility doctor puts a sucking needle through your vagina and into each of your swollen ovaries. thats the last part i remember about the operating room.
while i was under they had drained the fluid of each follicle. in the center of each follicle somewhere in the fluid was a ripe egg ready for fertilization. so after draining the eggs out, they would put the liquid under microscopes and find the eggs and isolate each one into different test tubes. this was all happening in the next room. the IVF lab. i dont know how long they wait until attempting to fertilize the eggs. there was nobody else in the office. so i didn't see the surrogate or the intended father.
they had also carried my unconscious body off of the operating table and transferred me to the hospital bed they wheeled into the room. then when they got me positioned correctly, they wheeled me back to the patient waiting room with my IV still attached and dripping saline solution into my hand vein.
i awoke and a nurse offered me cold apple juice. i drank it from the plastic bottle she held to my lips, i said thank you. it had only been about 15-20 minutes. i was drowsy. i noticed the news was still on with michael jackson's funeral procession. some jerky jerk helicopter was following the procession to the funeral, and there were interview clips with the mother of his children and a bunch of nonsense i wasn't fully aware of yet. the nurse was watching with great interest. as she took my blood pressure and sort of multitasked. i asked how many follicles i ended up having, the nurse didn't know, she said, they're figuring that out now. but i think she thought i meant eggs. or maybe i said eggs... they would have known how many follicles i had as soon as they looked with the ultrasound machine. the nurse asked if i had cramps. i hadn't even fully thought about how my body felt until that moment, then i thought about the cramps i might have, and there they were. so i said yes, she offered me 1 or 2 tylenol. i asked for 1 please. then they gave me the tylenol, and more apple juice. and they let my husband come in and hang out with me. he seemed amused by my loopy appearance.
the nurse put that finger oxygen pulse reader thing on again. i saw my oxygen level was only 96%. i began breathing deeper and it went up a couple percentage points. so i made a point of breathing deeply until it was at 100%. i drank the rest of the apple juice, and the nurse went over recovery info with me and my husband. i signed the form that i understood. i was supposed to call them immediately if i had any fever or bleeding or severe abdominal pain or difficulty breathing. she said there might be some spotting (from the 2 holes they poked in my vaginal wall) thats normal.
i had to hang out there for a while more until the drip IV completely drained into my body. we chatted about michael jackson and watched the news while waiting for the bag to empty into my veins. when i finally took in all of it, she took off all of the tape and removed the IV from my hand and told me i had to go pee before i could leave. so they helped me up. i made a joke about them putting vodka in my drink and i said i was fine, i was kind of clumsy and couldn't walk straight, so she didn't believe me, so she told my husband to come into the bathroom with me and i stumbled into the bathroom and i peed just fine. when i wiped i had some blood, so i grabbed a couple light pads. i didnt end up needing them, though. i got dressed into my clothes and they let us go. i wasn't allowed to drive for the rest of the day, but i could eat or drink anything i wanted now. so we went out to lunch. we got to leave by 9.
I had mild cramps all day. i didn't take another tylenol. they weren't bad. i had to walk slowly in the same way as before the donation, but this time, instead of feeling careful because i was protecting the ovum, i felt like it was just sore like i hurt myself (which i did). i felt like i had to shit the whole day. but when i tried i didn't want to push cause i was tender in my reproductive areas, so nothing came out. finally towards the end of the day i was able to go. it was all dense. probably from the fertility drugs and stuff.
and there was a spot i couldn't sit on somewhere if i slouched just right and tried to sit down, it felt tender and uncomfortable. i sat the wrong way twice. and then as soon as i repositioned myself i felt fine.
the cramps went away by the evening. and i began to forget about my healing insides. i was reading self magazine and there was a part about exercising and i decided to do a few keguls. BAD IDEA. that made my general vaj area hurt. i had totally forgotten about my surgery.
then in the evening i took my fist progesterone lozenge. it tasted bitter. like gross. and they tried to flavor it with mint, but it didn't work. i would think trying to mask the flavor with orange would go over a little better. but yeah. postage stamps taste a little bit better than the progesterone lozenges. I have to take them for 5 evenings straight to convince my body that i'm back to normal. and then i should have my period in 2 weeks exactly. and by that time, i will be healed enough for intercourse (WHOO HOO!!). i am a little terrified of getting pregnant now on accident after all those fertility hormones. so we'll be extra crazy careful.
this morning my case manager called to check up on me. now i get to fill out the reimbursements form. i bought a few amtrak tickets on my credit card. and the birth control pills i paid for. and gas getting up to appointments. and i had to put the rental car on my credit card (for insurance reasons). and the lunch we enjoyed the day of the donation. all of those things will be covered. but i have to attach receipts and all that to the reimbursements form, and mail it to them as soon as i can.
today i'm just resting. i got today covered from work. i dont think i would feel comfortable working yesterday after the surgery, but i could have worked today just fine. i'm going to work tomorrow.
i wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight, so i rushed to order food. got a couple of salads. cost $40. for 2 salads. it came with bread and butter on a table with a vase and orchid. the salad kinda sucked. total rip off. for $20 each.
then we tried to check our email, and internet wasn't free. it cost $50 for 24 hours of internet... there is free internet pretty much everywhere else in the world expect for this stupid hotel. that was kinda shocking. and then i took a bath, and the soap smelled like a solid bar of cologne. it was sooooo gross. i'd feel a little more comfortable in a motel 6. with free internet mild soaps and cheap food. lesson learned.
got up super early to drive down the street to the appointment. when i got there they put me in the patient waiting room. gave me a bag labeled "patient belongings" told me to change into the open in the back gown, putting all my stuff in the sealable bag. they gave me socks to wear. socks with traction. i love those socks. so i changed and then sat on the hospital bed thing in my gown tied closed in the back. the nurse told me to get comfortable. and she turned on the flat screen television hanging from the wall. news about michael jackson's family and the funeral procession.
the nurse gave me a sturdy denim blanket and kinda tucked me in, took my blood pressure and heart rate with that machine they clip on a finger that somehow knows your blood's oxygen level too. asked me when i ate last and when i gave myself the trigger shot. then left me alone with the michael jackson news.
a couple doctors began arriving for work and passed me walking through to the IVF lab. smiled and said hello with their coffee in hand. then the anesthesiologist arrived. greeted me and looked at my paperwork and set up a saline solution IV drip thing, putting a flexible needle in my vein on my left hand. taped it really really well onto my hand.
i never feel at ease until they tape it securely like that. but he did a very good job. it felt cold when he finally got it going. he didn't put anything in the IV yet. just set it up. then i waited there for a while. maybe 5 minutes. he came back and messed with the IV thing. maybe put something in there? i remember last donation, they put a drug in the IV before walking me to the operation room. maybe he did that. i didn't see him though. i was too busy with the michael jackson memorial news on the television. i loved michael jackson growing up. he was my david bowie.
a couple more people arrived and began arranging things in the operation room. the surgery was supposed to begin at 7:30 on the dot. i noticed a clock in the room said about 7: 25.
then a nurse helped walk with me into the operation room. she wheeled the IV behind me as i walked. there was a bed next to the ultrasound machine. instead of stirrups, there were knee rests. she helped me onto the bed and undid my ties to my gown so i could lie down on the bed without lying on knots. i was completely careless. not at all embarrassed about my nakedness under the gown. she pulled the gown out of the way, so it was more like a blanket with armholes than a gown.
i scooted down as to her directions, until i was in the right spot. and she put my knees in the stirrups. and strapped them there with a velcro tie thing. as she was doing that the anesthesiologist asked me how much i weighed, i responded, to which he began pushing an entire syringe full of some drug into my IV. i started to feel a little disoriented, so i lay back down and the anesthesiologist put an oxygen mask over my nose and put 3 sticky things on my chest to read my EKG i guess. then the pulse rate monitor and blood oxygen level monitor went on my finger and began beeping with me.
the fertility doctor arrived and put on the gloves and started up the ultrasound machine, there was my ultrasound guided needle that would suck the eggs out with the juice in the follicles, it was already out of the autoclaved bag and attached to the ultrasound wand. the bag wrapper had my name on it on a tray of gloves and tools next to the doctor's stool between my legs.
The doctor turned on the light and directed it towards my crotch, ready to begin the procedure, there was a point where i feared the anesthesiologist wasn't doing a good enough job, because i think last time i had passed out by now. So i thought about saying something to let them know i was still conscious, but i decided that would sound alarmist and stupid. so i began actively, but casually, looking around the room. i decided that would make it obvious that i was alert in case they thought otherwise.
i became aware of a conversation going on across the room between the nurses and the doctor, they were looking at a chart on the wall and discussing whether it was 15 or 16 follicles, and the doctor was asking them 16? and i raised my head and asked,
"is that how many follicles i have ready?" and he looked at me and asked,
"how many follicles did they say you had?" and i thought about the 2nd ultrasound and responded,
"i think she said 8 on one side and 6 or 7 on the other??" and he said,
"hmmm. i thought you had more that that."
I found that conversation strange. and comical. i mean, i was talking to this doctor between my legs and the doctor has the mask on and a light on my vaj. it was almost a monty python scene. or maybe it wasn't that weird, maybe i was just feeling high.
so i made a face that said, 'we will find out i guess' as i put my head back down i really started to feel drugged and weird. out of the corner of my eye i noticed the anesthesiologist put another bit of something in the IV. i decided to relax and let things happen, in a sense, thats when i surrendered any attempts to stay alert. i lay back and lazily stared at the hot air balloon mobile they had hanging from the ceiling. i just enjoyed the sensations i was feeling from the drugs. i remember thinking how appropriate that mobile was. light. airy. looks like how anesthesia feels. flying. floating to some distant land while some fertility doctor puts a sucking needle through your vagina and into each of your swollen ovaries. thats the last part i remember about the operating room.
while i was under they had drained the fluid of each follicle. in the center of each follicle somewhere in the fluid was a ripe egg ready for fertilization. so after draining the eggs out, they would put the liquid under microscopes and find the eggs and isolate each one into different test tubes. this was all happening in the next room. the IVF lab. i dont know how long they wait until attempting to fertilize the eggs. there was nobody else in the office. so i didn't see the surrogate or the intended father.
they had also carried my unconscious body off of the operating table and transferred me to the hospital bed they wheeled into the room. then when they got me positioned correctly, they wheeled me back to the patient waiting room with my IV still attached and dripping saline solution into my hand vein.
i awoke and a nurse offered me cold apple juice. i drank it from the plastic bottle she held to my lips, i said thank you. it had only been about 15-20 minutes. i was drowsy. i noticed the news was still on with michael jackson's funeral procession. some jerky jerk helicopter was following the procession to the funeral, and there were interview clips with the mother of his children and a bunch of nonsense i wasn't fully aware of yet. the nurse was watching with great interest. as she took my blood pressure and sort of multitasked. i asked how many follicles i ended up having, the nurse didn't know, she said, they're figuring that out now. but i think she thought i meant eggs. or maybe i said eggs... they would have known how many follicles i had as soon as they looked with the ultrasound machine. the nurse asked if i had cramps. i hadn't even fully thought about how my body felt until that moment, then i thought about the cramps i might have, and there they were. so i said yes, she offered me 1 or 2 tylenol. i asked for 1 please. then they gave me the tylenol, and more apple juice. and they let my husband come in and hang out with me. he seemed amused by my loopy appearance.
the nurse put that finger oxygen pulse reader thing on again. i saw my oxygen level was only 96%. i began breathing deeper and it went up a couple percentage points. so i made a point of breathing deeply until it was at 100%. i drank the rest of the apple juice, and the nurse went over recovery info with me and my husband. i signed the form that i understood. i was supposed to call them immediately if i had any fever or bleeding or severe abdominal pain or difficulty breathing. she said there might be some spotting (from the 2 holes they poked in my vaginal wall) thats normal.
i had to hang out there for a while more until the drip IV completely drained into my body. we chatted about michael jackson and watched the news while waiting for the bag to empty into my veins. when i finally took in all of it, she took off all of the tape and removed the IV from my hand and told me i had to go pee before i could leave. so they helped me up. i made a joke about them putting vodka in my drink and i said i was fine, i was kind of clumsy and couldn't walk straight, so she didn't believe me, so she told my husband to come into the bathroom with me and i stumbled into the bathroom and i peed just fine. when i wiped i had some blood, so i grabbed a couple light pads. i didnt end up needing them, though. i got dressed into my clothes and they let us go. i wasn't allowed to drive for the rest of the day, but i could eat or drink anything i wanted now. so we went out to lunch. we got to leave by 9.
I had mild cramps all day. i didn't take another tylenol. they weren't bad. i had to walk slowly in the same way as before the donation, but this time, instead of feeling careful because i was protecting the ovum, i felt like it was just sore like i hurt myself (which i did). i felt like i had to shit the whole day. but when i tried i didn't want to push cause i was tender in my reproductive areas, so nothing came out. finally towards the end of the day i was able to go. it was all dense. probably from the fertility drugs and stuff.
and there was a spot i couldn't sit on somewhere if i slouched just right and tried to sit down, it felt tender and uncomfortable. i sat the wrong way twice. and then as soon as i repositioned myself i felt fine.
the cramps went away by the evening. and i began to forget about my healing insides. i was reading self magazine and there was a part about exercising and i decided to do a few keguls. BAD IDEA. that made my general vaj area hurt. i had totally forgotten about my surgery.
then in the evening i took my fist progesterone lozenge. it tasted bitter. like gross. and they tried to flavor it with mint, but it didn't work. i would think trying to mask the flavor with orange would go over a little better. but yeah. postage stamps taste a little bit better than the progesterone lozenges. I have to take them for 5 evenings straight to convince my body that i'm back to normal. and then i should have my period in 2 weeks exactly. and by that time, i will be healed enough for intercourse (WHOO HOO!!). i am a little terrified of getting pregnant now on accident after all those fertility hormones. so we'll be extra crazy careful.
this morning my case manager called to check up on me. now i get to fill out the reimbursements form. i bought a few amtrak tickets on my credit card. and the birth control pills i paid for. and gas getting up to appointments. and i had to put the rental car on my credit card (for insurance reasons). and the lunch we enjoyed the day of the donation. all of those things will be covered. but i have to attach receipts and all that to the reimbursements form, and mail it to them as soon as i can.
today i'm just resting. i got today covered from work. i dont think i would feel comfortable working yesterday after the surgery, but i could have worked today just fine. i'm going to work tomorrow.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
2nd ultrasound and trigger shot!
got up waaaaay too early and drove to my 2nd ultrasound appointment sunday morning.
i saw a different doctor this time. she was really really friendly and sweet. we looked at my ovaries with the ultrasound machine, and she counted 7 or 8 on my right, 6 on my left. with the largest egg follicles at 20 millimeters. i had been experiencing spinnbarkheit
i saw a different doctor this time. she was really really friendly and sweet. we looked at my ovaries with the ultrasound machine, and she counted 7 or 8 on my right, 6 on my left. with the largest egg follicles at 20 millimeters. i had been experiencing spinnbarkheit
i managed to get to work on time. it was really kinda stressful, the calendar said i wouldn't be doing the extraction until the 8th or so. but they moved me to tomorrow the 7th. i had to scramble to find somebody to cover my shifts at work because of it.
last donation i remember feeling the same stress. You really really cannot try to work during the last week. after the first ultrasound, expect to take off work for a week or so just in case the calendar gets changed around.
so the doctor said my eggs were developed and ready to come out, so i no longer had to take the follicle stimulating hormones. the eggs are as big as they need to be. but after the ultrasound they gave me an instruction sheet for the trigger shot! I had to give myself the shot at 7:30 pm that day... and I worked until 8pm. so i had to go home and get the medication. the trigger shot was big, but didn't hurt because it was in the upper butt muscle, and that skin is really thick.
last donation i remember feeling the same stress. You really really cannot try to work during the last week. after the first ultrasound, expect to take off work for a week or so just in case the calendar gets changed around.
so the doctor said my eggs were developed and ready to come out, so i no longer had to take the follicle stimulating hormones. the eggs are as big as they need to be. but after the ultrasound they gave me an instruction sheet for the trigger shot! I had to give myself the shot at 7:30 pm that day... and I worked until 8pm. so i had to go home and get the medication. the trigger shot was big, but didn't hurt because it was in the upper butt muscle, and that skin is really thick.
its HCG. the same stuff pregnant women make. so i bought a pregnancy test to try it out. the nurse said it would say i was pregnant. so i did it for shits and giggles. (see picture). maybe i'll try to fool some of my relatives...
the medication was in powder form. came with a vial of the powder and a vial of water. and i took out 2 cc of liquid and mixed it with the powder. mixed it well (without shaking) and with a different smaller needle, drew out 1 cc of the med. 1/2 dose, they prescribed. (cc is a ml). it was gross, though, as i was pushing the needle into my skin i could tell when it tore through the muscle layer because it seemed to crunch through a little. then i pushed the plunger and the first bit of medication hurt a little, and i felt a rush of adrenaline, because i forgot to pull back on the plunger first, you're supposed to do that in case you hit a vein. so i pulled back and there was no blood, so i pushed the rest into the muscle. the rest didn't hurt. and it hardly bled once i took out the needle. then i massaged my butt like they told me to.
i feel bloated. especially when i have to pee. and since the trigger shot, my nipples and general vulva area feels really sensitive... not in a good way.
i feel bloated. especially when i have to pee. and since the trigger shot, my nipples and general vulva area feels really sensitive... not in a good way.
wow i'm tired. barely got any sleep. stayed up too late. and then got up too late. its been like that for the past few days. i have a bad habit of staying up late when i feel exhausted.
and now my right butt muscle feels a little sore.
and now my right butt muscle feels a little sore.
they made a hotel reservation for me in l.a. so i dont have to drive up there tomorrow morning. i already picked up the rental car. i'm excited.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
1st ultrasound
today's ultrasound was a little disappointing. i didn't want to get up so early, but i dragged myself out of bed and took a train to a subway to a bus that smelled like mold and dryer sheets. and then like air conditioning. on that bus i finished a book by philip k. dick called the man in the high castle.
arrived at the doctors office. read 1/2 a pregnancy magazine. got called into an ultrasound room i hadn't been inside of, had more natural light than the other one. and a smaller maybe older ultrasound machine. and the mobile hanging from the ceiling was of a bunch of monkeys. and a banana tree. they danced around in circles and one monkey would crash into the tree occasionally. a fault in the design. i sat for what felt like maybe 5 minutes. then the door opened and the doctor seemed rushed as he turned on the light and then turned off the light (as if he forgot what we were doing with me) then grabbed the gloves and sat down, and as soon as the ultrasound wand went in he saw my bladder and said something about how full it was. i apologized, and then nurse laughed.
he counted 6 follicles on my right and 6 or 7 on my left. the largest of both sides being at 11 millimeters. he said i am to change my 2nd ultrasound appointment to sunday instead of monday. that i had to do an ultrasound with another doctor (the one who is there on sundays). he didn't take any pictures for my folder like he did last time. i dont even think the ultrasound machine had an option to print. he rushed out of the room leaving the door open for the nurse to exit, and she told me to meet her outside for scheduling.
i felt a little like i had somehow disappointed them. like my follicles weren't doing what they should have. and i felt a little bummed because now i'd have to borrow a car and drive up to my next appointment, because the train doesn't run any earlier and my appointment time is 8 in the morning. and i hate driving. and also i had asked for monday off work for my 2nd ultrasound and now the date was changed to sunday, and i have to work sunday, so i need to figure that out. and then i'll have a monday off with no reason.
and then its always awkward with a new doctor. i like my current fertility doctor. i trust him and i feel respected and comfortable. now i have to let a stranger look at my eggs? gross. and then i have to get up a couple hours earlier.
and then i realized that i am actually meeting their expectations because i'm developing the follicles faster than anticipated. so i might be ready sooner than the calendar. so i'm doing better than they expected me to. as long as i dont over stimulate, i'll be done with this maybe a day earlier than i thought i would.
just did the shots. menopur in the belly fat. follistim in the upper thigh. lupron in the outer thigh. with the lupron in the insulin syringe i had a little trouble getting the plunger to push down smoothly. it went quickly and jerkily. if that makes sense. so that was uncomfortable. i injected the menopur faster than i usually do. i dont think it matters really how quickly you inject the medication. i allowed the medications to come to room temperature.
arrived at the doctors office. read 1/2 a pregnancy magazine. got called into an ultrasound room i hadn't been inside of, had more natural light than the other one. and a smaller maybe older ultrasound machine. and the mobile hanging from the ceiling was of a bunch of monkeys. and a banana tree. they danced around in circles and one monkey would crash into the tree occasionally. a fault in the design. i sat for what felt like maybe 5 minutes. then the door opened and the doctor seemed rushed as he turned on the light and then turned off the light (as if he forgot what we were doing with me) then grabbed the gloves and sat down, and as soon as the ultrasound wand went in he saw my bladder and said something about how full it was. i apologized, and then nurse laughed.
he counted 6 follicles on my right and 6 or 7 on my left. the largest of both sides being at 11 millimeters. he said i am to change my 2nd ultrasound appointment to sunday instead of monday. that i had to do an ultrasound with another doctor (the one who is there on sundays). he didn't take any pictures for my folder like he did last time. i dont even think the ultrasound machine had an option to print. he rushed out of the room leaving the door open for the nurse to exit, and she told me to meet her outside for scheduling.
i felt a little like i had somehow disappointed them. like my follicles weren't doing what they should have. and i felt a little bummed because now i'd have to borrow a car and drive up to my next appointment, because the train doesn't run any earlier and my appointment time is 8 in the morning. and i hate driving. and also i had asked for monday off work for my 2nd ultrasound and now the date was changed to sunday, and i have to work sunday, so i need to figure that out. and then i'll have a monday off with no reason.
and then its always awkward with a new doctor. i like my current fertility doctor. i trust him and i feel respected and comfortable. now i have to let a stranger look at my eggs? gross. and then i have to get up a couple hours earlier.
and then i realized that i am actually meeting their expectations because i'm developing the follicles faster than anticipated. so i might be ready sooner than the calendar. so i'm doing better than they expected me to. as long as i dont over stimulate, i'll be done with this maybe a day earlier than i thought i would.
just did the shots. menopur in the belly fat. follistim in the upper thigh. lupron in the outer thigh. with the lupron in the insulin syringe i had a little trouble getting the plunger to push down smoothly. it went quickly and jerkily. if that makes sense. so that was uncomfortable. i injected the menopur faster than i usually do. i dont think it matters really how quickly you inject the medication. i allowed the medications to come to room temperature.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
kinda sick of shots
shots shots shots. did my shots yesterday and then went out to a show. i've been drinking soda at bars. ginger ale mostly.
tired at work around siesta time.
tonight's shots bled a little. i have several purplish bluish marks along my outer thigh. and i think even a couple spider veins that weren't there before? i'm not sure. i have sausage looking legs for sure. i'm really pale there. looks gross.
and then the menopur bruises make it look like i was hit with a pole in my belly.
i feel a fullness in the ovaries. all day yesterday i felt a bunch of 'action' like gas but it was movement in either ovary. i'd feel something on my left and then something on my right. they're getting swollen. i remember this strange feeling from last donation. i've never felt this sensation any other way. its like a protective, bloated, pressure, full ovary feeling. even walking home from work, with careless heavy steps, i slowed my pace, because the jolt of the ground and my feet were too much force for my comfort. not painful, but cautious and protective. i dont want to jump or dance or do anything that requires sudden movements.
they dont want me exercising either. theres a lot of liquid collecting around the eggs in my ovaries.
my first ultrasound is tomorrow.
tired at work around siesta time.
tonight's shots bled a little. i have several purplish bluish marks along my outer thigh. and i think even a couple spider veins that weren't there before? i'm not sure. i have sausage looking legs for sure. i'm really pale there. looks gross.
and then the menopur bruises make it look like i was hit with a pole in my belly.
i feel a fullness in the ovaries. all day yesterday i felt a bunch of 'action' like gas but it was movement in either ovary. i'd feel something on my left and then something on my right. they're getting swollen. i remember this strange feeling from last donation. i've never felt this sensation any other way. its like a protective, bloated, pressure, full ovary feeling. even walking home from work, with careless heavy steps, i slowed my pace, because the jolt of the ground and my feet were too much force for my comfort. not painful, but cautious and protective. i dont want to jump or dance or do anything that requires sudden movements.
they dont want me exercising either. theres a lot of liquid collecting around the eggs in my ovaries.
my first ultrasound is tomorrow.
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