update for the past week:
Day 3 on lupron felt really funny for me. I woke up and drank a bottle of kombucha (fermented probiotic tea) with breakfast went to work. and felt funny at work. not sure if the kombucha tea was to blame. but i decided to write down some words about how i felt: disassociated, detached, faint, unaware, physically tense, mentally relaxed, crampy, premenstrual, like i'm not breathing deep enough.
the eczema (dry skin) on my fingers bothered me that night. and my chest began to itch too. I think i was having some sort of reaction.
it wasn't alarming to me. and it went away after that day.
I dont remember that happening during last donation. maybe i had an intense testosterone surge then. or maybe it was the crazy fermented tea. or a general lupron reaction. probably the latter.
shots 4-8 went fine. and 5 days later, i feel fine and theres no sign of the eczema or freaky feelings.
i've been alternating from right outer thigh to left outer thigh for the shots. theres no soreness. it hasn't affected my social life too much. i went to a show and brought the lupron in a refrigerated lunchbox, and excused myself from a conversation at the party to give myself the injection in private. i find the shots sometimes make my skin itch a bit near the injection site just afterwards. i think its because i dont wait for the alcohol to dry completely.
I was having menstrual cramps earlier in the week. and i remembered that i would normally have been on my period then. but they delayed my period one week. i had my last birth control pill on the 19th. and began spotting yesterday. my period was expected today, and it started. I still have to do daily 15U of lupron until the end of the week, when it will lower to 10U and then i'll start the follicle stimulating hormones. my estradiol level appointment is in a couple days. i'll update again then.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Lupron #2
so today has been kinda a weird day.
not sure what parts are side effects and what parts are just situational...
i got to go out to eat at my old favorite restaurant. had my favorite dish on the menu: a monster burrito with ranchero sauce and cole slaw and avocado. it was amazing. i used to go there all the time, but now its only once every few months if that. but it was really tasty and heavy. i couldn't finish it all.
came home. finished the leftovers. about an hour later i felt kinda nauseous and then had a terrible stomach ache that i just wanted to lay in bed until it went away. eventually i fell asleep and when i awoke from my nap the stomach ache was gone. so that sucked.
I was thinking about the Lupron side effects sheet and how it says things like: nausea, stomach cramps, ..., every possible ailment you could have apparently lupron causes it. but who knows why i had a stomach ache. could have been from all the acidity in my belly from the protein-rich lunch.
and then i noticed eczema on one of my fingers. i had eczema once, in 2003, went to the doctor they gave me a cream to keep it from itching. its a dry skin condition that can flare up when the immune system is weak, or when you dont eat enough fruit or when you're stressed out or whatever. It went away after 2003 and i haven't had it since. and this morning it came back.
its no big thing. you wouldn't be able to tell - you can barely see anything. but i know what it looks like and it felt a little itchy so i looked at it. on the lupron side effects sheet dry skin disorders was listed. along with crazy stuff like carcinoma of the skin/ear, and major fetal abnormalities.
then i managed to pick a fight with my husband, and i got emotional. then i thought about the testosterone surge i was expecting, and i wonder if that played a role? i dont think the testosterone surge would have even happened yet...
i'm going to go ahead and blame anything that happens to me for the next 2 weeks on Lupron
i also wonder how much my previous donation will affect any problems and side effects i might have with this donation. am i more likely to have problems? I think so... but i'm trying not to convince myself of that. i am a strong believer in the power of the mind to invent things physically that you expect to happen.
today's lupron shot itself was painless. it itched a little afterwards. i did the shot in my other thigh tonight. i'm going to switch back and forth in some sort of rotation. yesterday's shot location feels fine. took my zovia pill. the whole process of shot-giving and pill-popping took about 1 minute.
i'm keeping the lupron cold when i shoot it. i wonder how much this adds to the itchiness? i'm going to have to look up what i wrote about during last donation's shots (they're on this blog from last year). it has been a while and i haven't really learned from my mistakes.
not sure what parts are side effects and what parts are just situational...
i got to go out to eat at my old favorite restaurant. had my favorite dish on the menu: a monster burrito with ranchero sauce and cole slaw and avocado. it was amazing. i used to go there all the time, but now its only once every few months if that. but it was really tasty and heavy. i couldn't finish it all.
came home. finished the leftovers. about an hour later i felt kinda nauseous and then had a terrible stomach ache that i just wanted to lay in bed until it went away. eventually i fell asleep and when i awoke from my nap the stomach ache was gone. so that sucked.
I was thinking about the Lupron side effects sheet and how it says things like: nausea, stomach cramps, ..., every possible ailment you could have apparently lupron causes it. but who knows why i had a stomach ache. could have been from all the acidity in my belly from the protein-rich lunch.
and then i noticed eczema on one of my fingers. i had eczema once, in 2003, went to the doctor they gave me a cream to keep it from itching. its a dry skin condition that can flare up when the immune system is weak, or when you dont eat enough fruit or when you're stressed out or whatever. It went away after 2003 and i haven't had it since. and this morning it came back.
its no big thing. you wouldn't be able to tell - you can barely see anything. but i know what it looks like and it felt a little itchy so i looked at it. on the lupron side effects sheet dry skin disorders was listed. along with crazy stuff like carcinoma of the skin/ear, and major fetal abnormalities.
then i managed to pick a fight with my husband, and i got emotional. then i thought about the testosterone surge i was expecting, and i wonder if that played a role? i dont think the testosterone surge would have even happened yet...
i'm going to go ahead and blame anything that happens to me for the next 2 weeks on Lupron
i also wonder how much my previous donation will affect any problems and side effects i might have with this donation. am i more likely to have problems? I think so... but i'm trying not to convince myself of that. i am a strong believer in the power of the mind to invent things physically that you expect to happen.
today's lupron shot itself was painless. it itched a little afterwards. i did the shot in my other thigh tonight. i'm going to switch back and forth in some sort of rotation. yesterday's shot location feels fine. took my zovia pill. the whole process of shot-giving and pill-popping took about 1 minute.
i'm keeping the lupron cold when i shoot it. i wonder how much this adds to the itchiness? i'm going to have to look up what i wrote about during last donation's shots (they're on this blog from last year). it has been a while and i haven't really learned from my mistakes.
Monday, June 15, 2009
first lupron shot
i'm still on birth control pills. i think zovia causes mild cramps. those are the only side effects to report. mild cramping from the stupid birth control pills they've had me on for months. this is the 3rd pack of pills i'm working on. though they had me start a new pack of pills before i was even done with the other. probably to sync me up with the surrogate.
tonight was my first lupron shot: 15 U. the shot took a few minutes to prepare. just had to take the vial of lupron out of the fridge, get alcohol prep pads and the needle. pop the top of the lupron vial, wipe it with alcohol. wipe my outer thigh with alcohol. wait for them to dry. measure 15 U in the syringe, put the needle in the lupron vial, push in the plunger (putting 15 U of air in the lupron vial) then pulling out 15 U of lupron. making sure the vial is upright before pulling the needle out. then pinched the fat, stuck it with the tiny needle, pushed in the plunger slowly, then counted out a long 5 seconds. then slowly releasing the pinch, i pulled out the syringe. no blood at first. then half a minute later a tiny red dot.
easy.
my roommate almost passed out watching me. that was funny.
so this lupron stuff is crazy. it pulls increases calcium levels in the blood and reportedly creates 'bone pain'. i assume thats because it takes calcium from the osteoblasts in the bones more than they're used to? so i'm eating a lot of calcium. i got some calcium carbonate i've been mixing into everything i eat.
also i'm going to have a surge in testosterone for the first few days because of the lupron. i remember from my last donation feeling really energetic and happy, and i remember forgetting to eat. so i'm going to try to be mindful to eat a balanced diet even if im not hungry. cause thats just a side effect.
tonight was my first lupron shot: 15 U. the shot took a few minutes to prepare. just had to take the vial of lupron out of the fridge, get alcohol prep pads and the needle. pop the top of the lupron vial, wipe it with alcohol. wipe my outer thigh with alcohol. wait for them to dry. measure 15 U in the syringe, put the needle in the lupron vial, push in the plunger (putting 15 U of air in the lupron vial) then pulling out 15 U of lupron. making sure the vial is upright before pulling the needle out. then pinched the fat, stuck it with the tiny needle, pushed in the plunger slowly, then counted out a long 5 seconds. then slowly releasing the pinch, i pulled out the syringe. no blood at first. then half a minute later a tiny red dot.
easy.
my roommate almost passed out watching me. that was funny.
so this lupron stuff is crazy. it pulls increases calcium levels in the blood and reportedly creates 'bone pain'. i assume thats because it takes calcium from the osteoblasts in the bones more than they're used to? so i'm eating a lot of calcium. i got some calcium carbonate i've been mixing into everything i eat.
also i'm going to have a surge in testosterone for the first few days because of the lupron. i remember from my last donation feeling really energetic and happy, and i remember forgetting to eat. so i'm going to try to be mindful to eat a balanced diet even if im not hungry. cause thats just a side effect.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
calendars
So i'm still taking the birth control pills. i had my period and they started me on a new pack, then figured out a calendar - the plan, pretty much.
so i'm going to begin injecting lupron on the 15th of june. i take my last birth control pill on the 19th. on the 22nd i should expect a period. then i go in for my first lab appointment to do the FDA required tissue donation paperwork and check my estradiol levels. on the 27th, assuming everything looks normal, i'll begin injecting follistim and menopur as well as lupron. that goes for 5 days, then i have my first ultrasound on july 2nd. depending on how that looks, they may adjust my hormonal injections, and then i have another ultrasound on the 6th. and if the eggs look ripe and mature, my extraction date (depending on how the ultrasounds looks) will be on july 8th or 9th or 10th. so thats the official plan. my fertility doctor sent the prescription for the follicle stimulating hormones to the pharmacy and told me to call them. i called and left a message. last donation, they sent all the drugs in a refrigerated styrofoam box and scheduled a time for the delivery. i should try to call them again.
now the part i have to worry about, is making sure my workplace remembers to give me time off. last time it was really stressful for me to cover my shifts. somebody needs to go with me to the extraction surgery. so i need to make sure my husband can get time off work too. or somebody else.
I spoke with my family lawyer guy, he read the egg donor contract to me (and my husband) over speakerphone, and the next step is for me to mail the signed printed out copies of the contract back to his office. I'm still waiting for the final contract to get emailed to me.
at this point i only have 11 days until i begin starting injections. this is gonna sneak up on me fast. i've been really good about taking my vitamins and stuff. i gotta start calling my friends in L.A. now that i know what dates i'll be there. make some post appointment plans.
we are now entering the alcohol free and abstinence only phase. so i gotta transition my mind to straight-edge mentality and channel my sexual energy into more productive things.
i've been making long term plans about the money. this time around, the compensation is $10,000.00. last time it was $8,000.00 and i managed to blow it all on really fancy stuff, like this nice laptop and expensive digital design software and necessary dental work and car stuff and debt relief and a bunch of little things that, in retrospect, i think i would have been better off if i hadn't spent it so fast. 10,000 seems like a lot more money, but its not really. i could have saved that 8,000, and saved up a couple thousand on my own, and by now i'd have 20,000 with the 2 donations. I'm thinking about bigger things, like a down payment on a house. so for this donation, i'm cashing the check into my savings and just adding to it until i find a house i like enough to buy. mortgage payments are cheaper than rent. its almost tempting to donate eggs several more times just for the money for a house down payment. my case coordinator already told me that after this donation, i would likely get chosen again and again and again. but would i want to? i wanna have my own kids, and not quadruplets. i also worry about my own reproductive health, taking hormones and all. i'm not entirely convinced multiple donations are a healthy idea for my ovaries or cervix. another thing, i wonder if i'm going to go through menopause earlier in life, because of the overstimulation of my ovum? after the last donation i felt the sensation i was ovulating more than usual. could have just been the healing.
hmm.
so i'm going to begin injecting lupron on the 15th of june. i take my last birth control pill on the 19th. on the 22nd i should expect a period. then i go in for my first lab appointment to do the FDA required tissue donation paperwork and check my estradiol levels. on the 27th, assuming everything looks normal, i'll begin injecting follistim and menopur as well as lupron. that goes for 5 days, then i have my first ultrasound on july 2nd. depending on how that looks, they may adjust my hormonal injections, and then i have another ultrasound on the 6th. and if the eggs look ripe and mature, my extraction date (depending on how the ultrasounds looks) will be on july 8th or 9th or 10th. so thats the official plan. my fertility doctor sent the prescription for the follicle stimulating hormones to the pharmacy and told me to call them. i called and left a message. last donation, they sent all the drugs in a refrigerated styrofoam box and scheduled a time for the delivery. i should try to call them again.
now the part i have to worry about, is making sure my workplace remembers to give me time off. last time it was really stressful for me to cover my shifts. somebody needs to go with me to the extraction surgery. so i need to make sure my husband can get time off work too. or somebody else.
I spoke with my family lawyer guy, he read the egg donor contract to me (and my husband) over speakerphone, and the next step is for me to mail the signed printed out copies of the contract back to his office. I'm still waiting for the final contract to get emailed to me.
at this point i only have 11 days until i begin starting injections. this is gonna sneak up on me fast. i've been really good about taking my vitamins and stuff. i gotta start calling my friends in L.A. now that i know what dates i'll be there. make some post appointment plans.
we are now entering the alcohol free and abstinence only phase. so i gotta transition my mind to straight-edge mentality and channel my sexual energy into more productive things.
i've been making long term plans about the money. this time around, the compensation is $10,000.00. last time it was $8,000.00 and i managed to blow it all on really fancy stuff, like this nice laptop and expensive digital design software and necessary dental work and car stuff and debt relief and a bunch of little things that, in retrospect, i think i would have been better off if i hadn't spent it so fast. 10,000 seems like a lot more money, but its not really. i could have saved that 8,000, and saved up a couple thousand on my own, and by now i'd have 20,000 with the 2 donations. I'm thinking about bigger things, like a down payment on a house. so for this donation, i'm cashing the check into my savings and just adding to it until i find a house i like enough to buy. mortgage payments are cheaper than rent. its almost tempting to donate eggs several more times just for the money for a house down payment. my case coordinator already told me that after this donation, i would likely get chosen again and again and again. but would i want to? i wanna have my own kids, and not quadruplets. i also worry about my own reproductive health, taking hormones and all. i'm not entirely convinced multiple donations are a healthy idea for my ovaries or cervix. another thing, i wonder if i'm going to go through menopause earlier in life, because of the overstimulation of my ovum? after the last donation i felt the sensation i was ovulating more than usual. could have just been the healing.
hmm.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
medical clearance
my test results came back. everything looks good and i'm cleared to go. next stepl would be to make calendars to figure out where i am at my cycle compared to the surrogate. but first -
i have to wait for the family law attorney to send me the egg donor contract, so i can have him read it to me over the phone, and then i'll sign and mail it back.
no major problems to report with the zovia birth control pills they have me on. i felt some mild cramping, throughout the past 3 weeks. not usual for me. probably the stupid pill.
they say i should be all done with this donation by the end of june or mid july.
i have to wait for the family law attorney to send me the egg donor contract, so i can have him read it to me over the phone, and then i'll sign and mail it back.
no major problems to report with the zovia birth control pills they have me on. i felt some mild cramping, throughout the past 3 weeks. not usual for me. probably the stupid pill.
they say i should be all done with this donation by the end of june or mid july.
Friday, May 1, 2009
medical re-screening
i waited in the fertility office for a good half hour. they were really busy. i got to read a few conceive magazines. see some pregnant belly fashion.
they finally called me and i went to the nurses station. they took 2 tubes of blood for STD infection check (way better than the gallon of blood they took last time), they had me pee in a cup. then i went into the ultrasound exam room. The fertility doctor came in, took a pap, put the pap q-tip thing into a tube his assistant was holding. the doctor took 3 ultrasound pictures. made a comment about how he was looking for cysts, and that my right ovary looked good (?) then he asked about my cycle, i was on day 3, so he prescribed me some birth control pills zovia. they changed from femcon fe to zovia because too many donors complained about breakthrough bleeding while on femcon fe.
they told me to start taking zovia that day. they said to stay on the pills until further notice. they had to check and see if i can proceed with the donation.
i'm on my 2nd day on zovia. they're not chewable and they dont taste like mint. so i dont like them.
I wanted to ask the doctor to review my healing process from the last donation. i'm emailing him my questions. i specifically wanted him to look at my menstrual cycles since the donation. they were all over the place. and now they're back to normal, and i'm about to mess them all up again. i also had the feeling often after the last donation, that i was ovulating more than once a month. it just felt like that. and after the second month after donation, i tried to put the nuva ring in, but i got sick to my stomach, so i had to take it out. i'll email him all my concerns.
i've been contacted by the reproductive lawyer. he's going to schedule an over the phone read of the egg donor contract. I'm going to have him draw up 2 contracts this time. one for me, and one for my husband to waive his right to the future child.
apparently in california theres a law that any child born into a marriage is automatically the husband's child. and that law would apply in egg donation, because its my DNA. and in california, husbands own the children of their wives DNA. kinda messed up if you ask me. Last donor contract, the lawyer wanted both my and my husband's signature on each page of my donor contract. this time i wont do that.
they finally called me and i went to the nurses station. they took 2 tubes of blood for STD infection check (way better than the gallon of blood they took last time), they had me pee in a cup. then i went into the ultrasound exam room. The fertility doctor came in, took a pap, put the pap q-tip thing into a tube his assistant was holding. the doctor took 3 ultrasound pictures. made a comment about how he was looking for cysts, and that my right ovary looked good (?) then he asked about my cycle, i was on day 3, so he prescribed me some birth control pills zovia. they changed from femcon fe to zovia because too many donors complained about breakthrough bleeding while on femcon fe.
they told me to start taking zovia that day. they said to stay on the pills until further notice. they had to check and see if i can proceed with the donation.
i'm on my 2nd day on zovia. they're not chewable and they dont taste like mint. so i dont like them.
I wanted to ask the doctor to review my healing process from the last donation. i'm emailing him my questions. i specifically wanted him to look at my menstrual cycles since the donation. they were all over the place. and now they're back to normal, and i'm about to mess them all up again. i also had the feeling often after the last donation, that i was ovulating more than once a month. it just felt like that. and after the second month after donation, i tried to put the nuva ring in, but i got sick to my stomach, so i had to take it out. i'll email him all my concerns.
i've been contacted by the reproductive lawyer. he's going to schedule an over the phone read of the egg donor contract. I'm going to have him draw up 2 contracts this time. one for me, and one for my husband to waive his right to the future child.
apparently in california theres a law that any child born into a marriage is automatically the husband's child. and that law would apply in egg donation, because its my DNA. and in california, husbands own the children of their wives DNA. kinda messed up if you ask me. Last donor contract, the lawyer wanted both my and my husband's signature on each page of my donor contract. this time i wont do that.
Friday, April 17, 2009
psychological evaluation
it was over the phone this time. the psychologist lady asked me how i felt about the previous donation, and how my life was going, and all that. she said i'm now cleared. next step is medical screening. playing phone tag with the case manager. will schedule medical screening as soon as i get ahold of her.
Monday, March 30, 2009
its not a couple
the intended father is a single gay man! YES! finally.
i wonder who will be carrying his baby?
i wonder who will be carrying his baby?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
confirmation
i got a call that my selection has been confirmed today. i dont know who the infertile couple is yet, my file is being transferred to a case manager who will work out the details of scheduling screenings for me. blood work and all that. i'm guessing i'll get a bunch of blood drawn again. probably the same thing as last time. i have to tell my work i'll be needing time off.
i hope the donation happens soon. i'd rather do it before work gets really busy because of summer.
i hope the donation happens soon. i'd rather do it before work gets really busy because of summer.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
round 2?
i had a false alarm last month. somebody was looking at my profile but decided not to chose me. probably because of the goofy faces i made on the interview video. HA. i'm so embarrassed about that. i guess it would be a pain to rerecord that stuff. its hard enough updating my pictures with the agency.
but i think somebody is really choosing me this time. i got a call from my former case manager, she asked my availability and all that. she said that they're going to reassign me with another case manager for the infertile couple. i really hope they're gay.
its funny 'cause i was just recently thinking that maybe i wouldn't donate again. my husband and I want to have kids sometime before i'm in my 30s or definitely by mid 30s (i'm 26), and i was thinking about doing that within the next few years? and it takes a good 6 months for the cycle to get back to normal, and i wouldn't even want to try to conceive just after all those fertility drugs, so i'd want to wait a couple years. i dont want to be an older parent. the risks for baby and mama go way up after 35. i guess in the end if i ended up unable to have kids, we'd just adopt.
and then i was thinking - maybe i'll get back on chemical birth control (the pre-natal kind) now that my cycle is totally normal and predictable again - and then the egg donor agency called me to tell me a couple wanted my eggs. so that made up my mind. i love planned parents.
should i keep the second donation on this blog? or should i start a new one? i'm thinking i should add the second donation to this blog and just change the name to Egg donor, or something.
its crazy. kid #1 is still in utero. i hope someday he/she meets me. that would be neat. unlikely, cause they live out of the country, AND they wanted an anonymous donor.
i've been thinking a lot about Margaret Atwood's novel "The Handmaid's Tail" its about the future, when the feminist movement takes a nosedive and women are used for making babies for the infertile elite. except they're more like slaves, and they dont get paid. i'm going to read that again. I also want to read that book by that insane woman who donated too many times. 'memoirs of an egg donor?" or something? its not at the library. i'm not going to buy any books about some crazy gold digger egg donor. but i do want to read it.
but i think somebody is really choosing me this time. i got a call from my former case manager, she asked my availability and all that. she said that they're going to reassign me with another case manager for the infertile couple. i really hope they're gay.
its funny 'cause i was just recently thinking that maybe i wouldn't donate again. my husband and I want to have kids sometime before i'm in my 30s or definitely by mid 30s (i'm 26), and i was thinking about doing that within the next few years? and it takes a good 6 months for the cycle to get back to normal, and i wouldn't even want to try to conceive just after all those fertility drugs, so i'd want to wait a couple years. i dont want to be an older parent. the risks for baby and mama go way up after 35. i guess in the end if i ended up unable to have kids, we'd just adopt.
and then i was thinking - maybe i'll get back on chemical birth control (the pre-natal kind) now that my cycle is totally normal and predictable again - and then the egg donor agency called me to tell me a couple wanted my eggs. so that made up my mind. i love planned parents.
should i keep the second donation on this blog? or should i start a new one? i'm thinking i should add the second donation to this blog and just change the name to Egg donor, or something.
its crazy. kid #1 is still in utero. i hope someday he/she meets me. that would be neat. unlikely, cause they live out of the country, AND they wanted an anonymous donor.
i've been thinking a lot about Margaret Atwood's novel "The Handmaid's Tail" its about the future, when the feminist movement takes a nosedive and women are used for making babies for the infertile elite. except they're more like slaves, and they dont get paid. i'm going to read that again. I also want to read that book by that insane woman who donated too many times. 'memoirs of an egg donor?" or something? its not at the library. i'm not going to buy any books about some crazy gold digger egg donor. but i do want to read it.
Monday, January 26, 2009
14, 7, 1 result
turns out they retrieved 14 eggs. out of the 14 they fertilized 7 of them.
so they made 7 embryos. and the surrogate mother is pregnant now. i'm totally fertile. sweet.
so they made 7 embryos. and the surrogate mother is pregnant now. i'm totally fertile. sweet.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I've been "republished" !
that is, I've decided to do it again, and gave the agency the 'go ahead' to put my profile back on the egg donor database as 'available'. I'll let you know when i get chosen by an infertile couple.
to be continued...
to be continued...
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